Team Leader –

Alerts the team members to the crisis and convenes a meeting informing them of all relevant facts. Delegates and coordinates the tasks of the team.

Informs and liaises with the Board of Management, Parents Assoc. Chairperson, NEPS, Túsla, DES and with the local Gardaí (where appropriate).

Staff Liaison – 

Briefs staff at the earliest opportunity. The facts, as known, will be disclosed to the staff members who will be given an opportunity to express their feelings and ask questions.Staff will be updated as appropriate. (Face to face/text/email or phonecall)

Student Liaison –

Counselling-

Inform children of the facts of the incident, coordinate information from teachers and SNAs regarding any children whom they are concerned about, Resource room to be used with a small group & a classroom/ hall if number of students too large) .

Liaises with external agencies, such as NEPS, Tusla, St Johns Parish.

Parent Liaison –  

Liaise with the family, visits the family with the Principal, may arrange a meeting of parents, manages ‘consent’ issues in

Geraldine’s Resource room for meeting with parents, maintains a record of parents seen, meets with individual parents, provides appropriate materials for parents from Secretary.

Garda Grace Callinan.

Childhood Bereavement Network   016793188

Local Doctors:

·      Dr English, Oakview – 066 7128388

·      Clounalour Medical Centre – 066 712192

·      Fairies Cross Medical Centre – 066 7125762

·      St Brendans Park Medical Centre – 066 7122677

Secondary schools, (older siblings attending).

·      Mounthawk: 066 7102550

·      Miltown: 066 9767168

·      Presentation: 066 7122737

·      The Green: 066 7145824

·      Gleann Lí: 066 7122552

·      Gael Choláiste: 066 7121650

This Critical Incidence Policy was ratified by the Board of Management in 2017 and reviewed in 2019 and amended in

Signed: ______________________     Date: _______________

Vivian Nolan, Chairperson

APPENDICES/RESOURCES

R1

STUDENT CONTACT RECORD

This form can be used by school staff to record the details of students supported following a critical incident. This information should be collated centrally.

Name of staff member:

R2

SAMPLE LETTER TO PARENTS/GUARDIANS –

SUDDEN DEATH/ACCIDENT

This letter can be used as a template for schools when they are informing parents of a tragedy, offering some advice and outlining what the schools response involves (brief details of the incident and, in the event of a death, perhaps some positive remembrances of the person lost). Where text/social media are used for communicating with parents this content will help with drafting.

(School Contact Details)                                                                       (School Crest)

Dear Parent/Guardian

The school has experienced (the sudden death, accidental injury, etc.) of Name of student(s). We are deeply saddened by the deaths/events.

Our thoughts are with (family name).

We have support structures in place to help your child cope with this tragedy (elaborate).

It is possible that your child may have some feelings and questions s/he may like to discuss with you. It is important to give factual information that is age appropriate.

You can help your child by taking time to listen and by encouraging him/her to express feelings. All children are different and will express their feelings in different ways. It is not uncommon for children to have difficulty concentrating or be fearful, anxious, or irritable. They may become withdrawn, cry, complain of physical aches and pains, have difficulty sleeping or have nightmares. Some may not want to eat. These are generally short term reaction. Over the course of the coming days, please keep an eye on your child and allow him/her to express their feelings without criticism.

Although classes will continue as usual, I anticipate that the next few days will be difficult for everyone.

(Optional)

An information night for parents is planned for (date, time and place). At that time, further information about how to help children in grief will be given.

We have enclosed some information which you may find useful in helping your child through this difficult time.

Young people frequently turn to social media to see what others are saying, or to find out more. At these times it is important that you monitor their use and engage with them about what they read. We urge you to emphasise and reinforce the need to be extremely sensitive and careful about what they post.

If you would like advice you may contact the following people at the school (details).

Principal’s signature

R3

SAMPLE ANNOUNCEMENT TO THE MEDIA

This can be used as a template by schools to be emailed, posted on the school social media site or given to the media. It may help to decrease the number of media calls and callers to the school.

In some instances it is not appropriate to provide names or information that might identify individuals.

This announcement will need to be changed based upon confidentiality issues, the wishes of the victim’s family and the nature of the incident.

My name is (Name) and I am the principal of (Name) School. We learned this morning of the death of (one of our students or Name of student). This is a terrible tragedy for family(ies), our school and our community. We are deeply saddened by these events. Our sympathy and thoughts are with (Name) family and friends.

Name of student/students was a (5th year boy) and will be greatly missed by all who knew him.

We have been in contact with his/her parents and they have requested that we all understand their need for privacy at this difficult time.

Offers of support have been pouring in and are greatly appreciated. Our school has implemented our Critical Incident Management Plan.

Psychologists from the National Educational Psychological Service (NEPS) and (insert other information if relevant) have been with us all day supporting and advising teachers in their efforts to assist our students at this time.

The teachers have been helping students to deal with the tragic event.

The school has been open to parents to support them and to offer them advice and guidance.

We would ask you to respect our privacy at this time.

Thank you.

R4

A CLASSROOM SESSION FOLLOWING NEWS

OF A CRITICAL INCIDENT

Normally, the class teacher, class tutor or other teacher who knows the students should be the person to inform them of the events and lead the classroom session. Students generally feel safe and secure with someone they know. If the teacher feels uncomfortable with this role another staff member may share the task. Teachers should have the opportunity to opt out of this work if they feel unable to handle it and other arrangements should be made for that class group.

The aim of the session is to break the news to give the students an opportunity to discuss what has happened and to express their thoughts and feelings in a secure environment. The teacher needs to listen and be empathic.

The session needs to be tailored to the age and developmental level of the class group.

The outline of the session is as follows:

STEP 1                        Giving the facts and dispelling rumours

STEP 2                        Sharing stories and allowing and encouraging the sharing of thoughts                                       and the expression of feelings

STEP 3                        Normalising the reactions

STEP 4                        Worries (for younger children)

STEP 5                        Advising about social media usage

STEP 6                        Empowerment

STEP 7                        Closure

STEP 8                        Free Time

STEP 9                        Recovery

R5

CHILDREN’S UNDERSTANDING AND REACTION

TO DEATH ACCORDING TO AGE

(This may be used with various groups and individuals)

Children’s understanding and reaction to death will depend on their age and their developmental stage. The following are guides only as children will differ in their reactions and grasp of events for a range of reasons other than age alone.

AGES 0 – 2 YEARS

·       Infants do not understand the meaning of death

·       They may display anxiety when separated from a loved one

·       They may appear upset, subdued and uninterested in their surroundings.

AGES 2 – 5 YEARS

·       No understanding of the permanency of death

·       May search for the missing person from a loved one

·       May feel responsible for the death in some way

·       May become apathetic and depressed

·       May regress to an earlier stage of development e.g. thumb sucking, bedwetting, tantrums or may become clingy

·       May develop fears of going to sleep

·       May worry that other loved ones may die.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

·       Continuity of normal routine e.g. mealtimes and bedtime

·       Offer physical comfort

·       Explain the death in clear, simple language, using words like “dead” and “died” – Do not use terms like “gone to sleep” or “passed away”

·       You may need to repeat the same information again and again

·       Permit them to ask questions and be consistent in your answers

·       Reassure them that they had nothing to do with the death and of the wellbeing of other family members.

AGES 5 – 9 YEARS

·       Beginning to realise the permanency of death, but their idea of life after death is still vague

·       May have concerns about how the deceased is feeling or what he/she is thinking in the grave

·       May have a lot of questions about aspects of the death e.g. how the person died, what they looked like, the funeral, heaven, coffins

·       The reaction of their peers is important, they may feel ‘different’ to them

·       Their peers may be awkward about the death and avoid contact

·       They may become the target of bullying.

AGES 9 – 12 YEARS

·       Understand the finality and universality of death

·       Awareness of their own mortality and may worry about their own death

·       May display psychosomatic symptoms i.e. physical complaints like tummy aches

·       May wish to stay at home close to parents

·       May display anger.

ADOLESCENTS

·       Fully understand the finality, universality and inevitability of death. Their experience of death is similar to adults

·       May have a range of feelings: guilt, regret, anger, loneliness etc.

·       Death adds to the already confused array of emotions experienced by adolescents

·       May appear to not care about the death

·       May seek support outside of the family.

If parents are grieving themselves, they may be emotionally unable to support their other children. In this instance, another supportive adult in the child’s life, e.g. other family members, friends, neighbours may need to offer emotional support.

It should be remembered that for children with special educational needs, their understanding of what has happened will be in line with their developmental age.

R6

REINTEGRATION OF THE BEREAVED CHILD IN SCHOOL

Some suggestions are offered here which may help prepare the school and the bereaved child for their return to school. They will help to ensure that the individual, the other students and the staff feel more comfortable and at ease.

·       Visit the bereaved student at home to see what s/he would like to happen when they return to school

·       Talk to the student’s class about how people are affected by grief and encourage them to share their own feelings. Ask about how they have coped with bereavement in their own lives and what has helped

·       Discuss how difficult it may be for their classmate to come back to school. Ask how they would like to be treated if they were returning to school after a death. This might be done in pairs or small groups, thus encouraging all to be involved. It will also ensure that a range of preferences are expressed, reinforcing the fact that different people will have different preferences as to how they are treated. Some people may want to discuss what has happened, while others may want to be left alone. In general bereaved students say that they would like others to treat them as before rather than being ‘over-nice’ to them. However, it is a delicate balance as they don’t want people to behave as if nothing has happened at all

·       It may help if, in advance of the student’s return to school, classmates have sent cards or notes or drawn pictures for the bereaved classmate. This will let her/him know that they are in their thoughts

·       When they return, acknowledge their loss “I’m sorry that (name of deceased) died. I know that you are sad. It is ok to cry”. (In Post-Primary schools, check that this is done in the first class of the day and not in every class

·       Teachers can express their own sympathies separately once the general re-entry to class has been managed

·       When the student returns, they may have difficulty concentrating or joining in class activities. Be understanding

·       Allow them access to a ‘quiet room’ where he/she can go to be alone. You might suggest: “We can set up a signal for you to use if you need to leave the class at any time”. (Ensure supervision)

·       Link the student in with the guidance counsellor for support if needed

·       Listen when they want to talk: “If you need to talk at any time, I am here to listen”

·       Carry on normal routines and normal approaches to discipline

·       They may have difficulty completing homework and assignments: “If you are having difficulty doing your homework it is ok to do as much as you can for a while”

·       Allow them as much time as they need to grieve.

R7

WAYS TO HELP YOUR CHILD THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT TIME

Children do not need to be taught how to grieve. They will do it naturally and in healthy ways if we allow them and if we provide a safe atmosphere, permission and example to do so.

·       Listen carefully. Let them tell their story. Tell them that the reactions they are having are normal

·       Pay extra attention, spend extra time with them, be more nurturing and comforting

·       Reassure them that they are safe

·       Don’t tell them that they are “lucky it wasn’t worse”. People are not consoled by such statements. Instead, tell them that you are sorry such an event has occurred and you want to understand and help them

·       Do not be surprised by changes in behaviour or personality.  They will return to their usual selves in time

·       Don’t take their anger or other feelings personally. Help them to understand the relationship between anger and trauma. Help them find safe ways to express their feelings e.g. by drawing, taking exercise, or talking

·       Help them to understand that defiance, aggression and risk behaviour is a way to avoid feeling the pain, hurt and or fear they are feeling

·       When going out, let them know where you are going and when you will be back

·       If you are out for a long time, telephone and reassure them

·       Tolerate regressive behaviour such as nail biting, thumb sucking, or the need for a night light

·       Share your own experience of being frightened of something and getting through it

·       If they are feeling guilt or shame, emphasise that they did not choose for this to happen and that they are not to blame. Even if they were angry with the person who died, or had been mean to them, this did not make it happen

·       Work with the school support services and other available services

·       As well as advising your child about appropriate use of social media, monitor their use, particularly during this vulnerable time. Useful website: www.webwise.ie

R8

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (TEACHERS)

The following is a summary of questions often asked by teachers in the aftermath of a critical incident.

Q. I would like to opt out of support type work for personal reasons. Is this OK?

A. It has been found that their teachers are the best people to support students in school in times of distress because they are with people they know and trust. Accordingly, all teachers and other school staff members are encouraged to help the students at these times. However, nobody should be obliged to do this work and people should be able to opt out of it if they feel they need to. This may be for a number of reasons, including recent personal bereavement, experience of a loss similar to that occurring in the particular incident or other circumstances. However, in order to stay in touch, they would need to be in attendance at staff meetings where information is disseminated in relation to the incident.

Q. I have no qualifications to help out in this area. Shouldn’t the job should be left to the experts?

A. You probably have more skills here than you realise. Your experience, competence and skills as a teacher and as an expert in dealing with children and young people are invaluable. Most importantly, the students know you. Students need a safe environment in which to come to terms with what has happened. This security is often enhanced by being able to discuss the events with a familiar teacher in the first instance.

Q. What should I do in the classroom to be helpful?

A. You should acknowledge the situation and clarify the facts, as they are known. Honesty is essential. Encourage questions so that the students have a clear understanding. Try to establish normal routines as soon as possible – but balance this with allowing students opportunities to discuss the incident and to express their thoughts and feelings. Encourage them to resume extra-curricular activities and help them to identify where they can go to for support. Encourage them to be supportive of one another.

Q. What are the signs of grief that I may notice in students?

A. After bereavement students may have a wide range of different reactions – some may become quiet and withdrawn, while others may seem to be aggressive, irritable or angry. They may have mood swings or lack concentration. Try to handle all these ‘normal’ reactions with patience, do not seem surprised by them and do not get cross (see R6, R7 and R9). If students come from a background where there is family breakdown, serious illness, alcohol or drug related or other difficulties, then you need to take extra note of any behavioural changes.

Q. What if I think that some students are not grieving normally?

A. There is no such thing as a ‘correct’ way to grieve. Some people cry, some may laugh or become giddy, some show no reaction. The important thing is that all these different ways are natural and normal and you should try to help the student understand this.

Q. What skills do I have that are important?

A. Listening skills are probably the most important. People who have experienced loss or trauma generally feel that talking helps them to cope with their feelings. When you sense a student wants to talk, try to make the time. Be reassuring and patient while gently encouraging them to talk about the loss. Reassure the student that you are there to help.

Q. Is there any one important thing I should say?

A. Yes – emphasise that grieving is a normal healthy process following a traumatic incident. It is the person’s way of coping with the event. It is also normal for people to react in different ways – there is no ‘right’ way to grieve.

Q. Is it a good idea to organise a classroom session following a critical incident?

A. Some schools do and they have found this to be very effective. You will find notes on leading a class session after news of an incident in R5. An advantage here is that students may feel safer and more secure with their regular classroom teacher.

Q. What should I do if I feel that a student needs more professional support?

A. Discuss the issue with the principal or guidance counsellor. They, in turn, may wish to discuss it with the NEPS psychologist or other support services and with the student’s parents. The outcome may be a referral to the appropriate service.

Q. What is the overall message in helping bereaved children?

A. “You will get through this difficult time and we are here to help if you need support. Take care of yourself and look out for each other. If you need help, or a friend is in difficulty, it is best talk to us rather than relying totally on social media.”

Q. When should I get back to a normal teaching routine with a class?

A. It is important to give students sufficient time and space to share their feelings and to come to terms with what has happened. However, it is also important to move towards a normal routine as soon as possible. Getting on with the regular and familiar pattern of school life helps reduce stress. Avoid introducing new material in the immediate aftermath of an incident or bereavement, as grief and shock can interfere with concentration and motivation. It is often a good idea to consult the students themselves about returning to the normal routine.

Q. What do I do about the empty chair/a student’s belongings etc.?

A. A helpful strategy might be to involve students in a discussion about what to do about the chair. This might also present an opportunity to move to a new phase in the process. With regard to the student’s belongings, it might be useful to put together a folder or a ‘memory box’ of the student’s work for the parents. This can be given to them at an appropriate time.

Q. Is there a danger that by talking about suicide you make it appear to be an option for others?

A. Talking about the death helps people to make sense of what has happened. People can cope with the truth, but suicide must never be represented as a valid option. There should be no criticism of the person who has died. Separate the person from the behaviour. It is important to talk about how a person can get to the point where suicide may seem to be the only option but emphasise that it is not a good option. Feeling low is usually a temporary thing, whereas suicide is permanent. With suicide the intention may have been to change life circumstances rather than end life. There is always help available if a person can take the step of reaching out for it. Encourage students to seek help if they need it.

R9

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (PARENTS)

The following is a summary of questions frequently asked by parents after a critical incident.

Q. This incident has upset my daughter/son. As there are many rumours circulating, I would like to know what really happened. How can I find that information?

A. The school will inform students and parents of the core details of the incident insofar as they are known. It sometimes takes some time for the true facts to emerge. In the meantime, it is important to stick to the facts as known. Discourage rumour or gossip as it is often incorrect and can be distressing for the families and friends of those involved. Information on social media is not reliable and always needs to be checked.

Q. Will help be available to the students in the school?

A. This will depend on the particular situation. The school will usually put a plan in place for supporting students. This support may include classroom discussion, small group discussion or individual support for students who need it. If there is particular concern about your son or daughter, you will be informed.

Q. How can I help my child?

A. You are the natural support for your child. He/she may want to discuss their feelings and thoughts with you. You can help by listening carefully. You should tell them it is ok to feel the way they do, that people react in many different ways and that they should talk rather than bottle things up. Advise on and monitor safe use of social media.

Q. How long will the grief last?

A. There is no quick answer to this. It varies from individual to individual and according to circumstances. It will also be affected by the closeness of the child to the event or to person who died. Memories of other bereavements may also be brought up by the incident. Be patient and understanding. It can take time.

Q. Since the incident occurred my child has difficulty in sleeping, complains of headaches etc. Can I be sure these are related to the incident?

A. Grief can affect one physically as well as emotionally and these and other symptoms may be part of a grief reaction. If they persist, consult a doctor for a check-up.

Q. If my child remains very upset what should I do?

A. If your child remains distressed after a period of six weeks or so, he/she may need additional support, but there is no fixed rule about the length of the grieving process. If you are very concerned at any point, it is best to seek more help through your GP/HSE Services.

Q. In what ways are adolescents different from other children?

A. During adolescence there are a lot of changes going on for young people and some may feel confused about themselves and the world around them. Grief tends to heighten these feelings and increase the confusion. At this time, too, the individual may look more to friends than to family for support and comfort. Don’t feel rejected by this. Just be available to listen when they need to talk and make sure they know you are there for them when they need you.